Meet Zolisa (Zo) & David

Meet Zolisa and her boyfriend David. David is Nigeria's Next Top Model. Zo is the bomb. They are the cuuuuutest couple ever. Zo is got an awesomely positive spirit, and is just an overall sweetie. David is the most patient person ever...and is just really a great time to hang out with. He is the only reason I wasn't laid out on the floor Saturday night, so I owe him quite a bit. Zo and I keep making dates to go to the gym, but instead I convinced her to take me to McDonald's for french fries. I promised her we'll go work out after work tonight. I think she's gonna hold me to it. So tomorrow I'll probably be writing about how sore I am after taking three weeks off of working out.

These two maybe are my favorite duet in South Africa. Love them. You would too!

A summary because the internet was down....

Friday--I went to dinner with Hylton and this woman he used to date. She was anti-American. And said some dumb shit like "what kind of black people eat sushi?" I told her to kiss my ass with my eyes all night. Next we headed to the club...it was the more like a jook joint. They said the club was the recreation of a spot that used to be happening during apartheid. But apparantly is still attracts the same crowd...nothing but old folks...randomly there was a Reggae band though...they were dope, still, I was ready to call it a night pretty early, and we did.

Saturday--The guy I flew down here next to is named Tapuwa. He's from Zimbabwe but lives in Joberg now. You spend 20 hours on the plane with someone they become your friend. Anywhoo, he came by to visit with his homeboy whose name I can't remember. Dude had a drop top mercedes and was blasting weezy (i'll write about why hip-hop must die soon) they asked me a million questions about being American before carting me off to their homeboys house to watch my first Rugby game. It was definitely like guys time and I was the only chick there, but you know it was just like being at Chad and Jason's house. Anywhoo, I glanced around and realized that 3 out of the 5 guys had casts or injuries of some sort, so i'm like, ummmm "why is everyone in here injured?" They claim Rugby or Soccer...but um....yeah...they might be boughie high-jackers on the low. Anywhoo, Hamilton, the rugby enthusiast of the room got so happy that New Zealand won, he started calling his boys to talk shit. And what was the first words out of his mouth, "NIGGA! NIGGA!" (insert screeching halt noise) Come on dude, you say that here? Next came the story of how powerful American influence is blah blah....and once again I felt like the only Black student in white school having to represent the entire Black American race, and try to stop us from destroying all Black people globally. From there, Mercedes boy dropped by his brother's house which was AMAZING (banker guys) where again I was super American, and then finally dropped me home. After a nap I got up and got dressed to go to a party, where I drank entirely too much Roset and was so wasted I was sick up until yesterday. Luckily my co-worker Zo's model Nigerian boyfriend David was there to take care of me. (I'll post their picture and introduce you to them later on today) Can't go to that place for a while.

Sunday--Hungover, death, illness, sleep....shame...


Monday--The project finally got all the greenlights, bout to start working like an insane person. Still can't figure out this dated South African video editing style, its really bothering me. Went to dinner with the American boy I met my first night out. He's cool enough...it was nice to just have a conversation that didn't involve discussing the plight of Black people in the world. And I found my Black American self some sushi. Even found my way to a Dave Chappelle DVD. Don't judge me...you'd do it to if all you'd seen was music videos and the olympics for the last two weeks. Alright, all caught up. Love you guys!

Customer service in South Africa SUCKS!

Hola guys, sorry no post yesterday, internet was down. South African tech support is the pits. Alright today’s introduction since sooooo many people asked….Meet Fatima!


Fatima is my roommate and my co-worker. She’s been down here for 7 months but knows everyone and everything. Definitely a girl after my own heart, she works her ass off, but is fun and social and knows how to have a good time. She’s British so I’m still learning the various slang terms she throws out, (between the British girl and the South Africans, I never realized how difficult it could be to understand English). Anywhoo, this week Fatima’s been on the war-path. It’s like Russia and Georgia in this place and Fats is Russia. Don’t be fooled by the sweet face, this girl means business, and she’s been giving it to people all week. We won’t even talk about how she told poor Hylton she merely “tolerates” him. And they say Black American women have attitude! Best part is that usually she’s right, so she just runs people over with right on her side. You guys would pretty much love her, she’d fit right in with the New York crew, but that may be because she lived in NYC for a year, and in Brazil, and here, and London and as you can see, she’s quite the go-getter. I think she and I might be the most sane people in the group, and seeing as you know me…imagine the level of insanity I’m living in.

Well friends, my Capetown tripped got squashed because the network I’m working for decided they may actually let us do some work in Joberg, keep in mind that I said “may”, which means they may not, and then I’ll end up spending the weekend in Joberg finding people to entertain me instead of going to Fashionweek in Capetown and partying all weekend. So let’s hope “may” becomes definite or I’m going to really start getting over this “cultural difference” bullshit. Look, work is work, get with SA, really! Fatima and I constantly reference, “If this was New York…” or “If this was London….” I think we need to put a sign on the wall that says “Remember what country you’re in.” So I know we all complain about how we slave for our corporate jobs back home, but trust me, there’s something to be said about the American knack for immediacy and efficiency. Ok, enough complaints, because mostly I love this place. Tried to go out last night, but fell asleep watching TV on the couch. Much to my dismay I woke up to Hylton and 4 random drunk creatures of the night who barged in to the house making all kinds of noise and asking me 21 questions about America. Not to mention there’s this random old white German guy with the goonies who was completely misplaced. I have no idea who they were, and how he figured in to the mix, but he used to have a girlfriend in South Dakota. Let’s remember folks, I haven’t shared my home since LLC1 back in college, so you can imagine my utter dismay at the sight. I tried my best to be cordial. Once they decided they’d head out to make a liquor store run, I booked it to my room, turned of the lights and quickly passed out. It was like being on the corner of 112th & Frederick Douglass after midnight during the summer in my living room. Yeah! Now you get it!

This morning Hylton was out in the living room, talking to himself. I was just relieved no one else was here as well. Our boss in the states called to say if Hylton used his room, burn the sheets and find some sage. (comedy!) Meanwhile, I’ve decided I’m going have to learn how to drive on the wrong side of the road as to not be stranded around these parts, and that I’m going to join the Planet Fitness ASAP. I’m going to have to kick box my way through the madness!

On another note, yesterday was the first day I really missed you guys. I love the new people in my life but sometimes you just need someone around that feels comfortable to you. And since the internet was down and I couldn’t gchat you, I missed you terribly. It’s morning here now and I’m feeling better.

Love you all,

LD.

-update: internet company won’t exchange the modem without a receipt that proves we purchased it from them…last year…oh Lord help me.

MTV PARTY!!!

Precious (South African super-model), Some girl, Da L.E.S. (23 year old Joberg rapper who wants to get it) Fatima (co-worker and roomie), Suede (American dude from D.C. who's been down here since 9/11) and moi!

I turned the party out...I mean you know me....

The first 10 days or so

DAYS 1-3...don't matter.  I was so jetlagged, tired, grumpy and confused we can just count those as a loss.

Day 4--Meet Hylton.  He's a colored guy from Capetown.  He's out of his fucking mind.  For real.  He wears the same clothes almost everyday.  His accent sounds African and German, he plays Lil Wayne, Mrs. Police Officer everytime we get in the car.  And when Bobby Valentino sings the "weeoooweeooowee" part, he points his index fingers in the air and circles them around.  "That's how he imagines the dance would be to go with it."  He imagines a lot and everything he imagines has to be the way it is.  He's got this disgusting cough that he picked up in Botswana and he's been drinking cough syrup like it's soda straight out of the bottle.  He's about six feet and slim, although he's got quite a pot-belly due to the massive amount of beer he consumes daily.  He smokes at least 6 cigarettes a day, (everyone does that here however) and he's really in to the  concept of "gangsta"  The first 3 days we fought non-stop.  Now we're married.  He gets jealous when other guys try to talk to me in the club, and thinks he has a say in my wardrobe selection.    He drives like a maniac and I almost always sit in the back so I don't have to count how many times God has to save my life on the way to wherever we are headed.  I have to work with him the most.   

Ok guys, so I'm gonna introduce you to everyone one entry at a time.  But generally, I love it here.  Joberg is like LA and ATL combined but much much bigger and of course Blacker.  My apartment is nice and I live with this British Moroccan girl named Fatima.  I'll introduce you to her tomorrow.   I could definitely see myself staying here for a good amount of time, though of course you know I miss New York.  Culturally thus far, it seems Black urban people are just the same everywhere you go.  Black women can't get a man, complain about the good ol' days and have intense debates about class.  Same conversations different continent.  People are quite political here though. 

So far it seems African men are greatly intimidated by the concept of "Black-American-Women".  They think we know too much, are too saavy and too powerful.  Apparently they must think we're a bit slutty though, because every time we go out I get a lecture about how I shouldn't sleep with anyone, like I mean, as if!!!! I'm still sorting this all out with them because it's a bit annoying.  Essentially they just don't think a woman is capable of having a good time and taking her ass home to bed...but whatevs.  

Haven't started traveling yet, though I'm headed to Capetown this weekend.  The workload is extremely intense and CP time versus African time is like Broadband cable compared to Dial-up.  So as you can imagine I'm extremely irritated with the amount of time it takes to get things done.  

On another note, been to some fun parties, met some Americans who like me came down and fell in love, never to return home...